Dangerously close to the P-word

I spewed this out during my weekly writing group. Posting this is either brave or...well, you decide.

I am co-opted sentiment for the masses pre-digested for your particular demographic. I am a graphic representation of a soul that has been dragged behind a car for its entire journey through South America in the rainy season. I am Melba toast that has been reconstituted with heat and fluid. I am the fluidity of analogue impulses, the way it was before digital codes took the place of real emotion. I am the Kilometer from Granville Island to Science World, where we see the city in flux. We hope it will be so much more but are expecting the worst. I am child-like co-ordination when doing a skillful act for the first time. I am the ball and gag on the oppressor of youth. I am terrible soup that can’t decide if it really wants to be stew. I am perturbed by impatience but not persistent enough to do anything positive or earth changing. I am two people walking in the desert looking for their twins when really they should be content with each other. I am the Canada arm on the space shuttle, which is ever powerful in zero gravity but on earth in can'’t even lift its own weight. I am Priscilla before she met Elvis and before she experienced the gaudy wonder of Graceland. I am Bob Dylan before he plugged in and got booed. I am a hybrid car that will save you 5000 dollars over 5 years. I am the 5000 dollars you saved only to spend it on expensive Lattes at Starbucks. I am a Robot that does all the things a human does only better. I am a pitch for the best movie in the world but I’m too time consuming and cost prohibitive. I am puppy’s breath before it turns into shit scented gob. I am a Velvet curtain in an old lounge that hasn’t seen daylight in 32 years. I am taller than a giraffe yet quicker than a cheetah. I am the resonance you feel after watching an Italian movie from the early 60’s. I am the de-saturated colour you pull from the overstated 1950’s Hollywood Epic. I am to long in the tooth to be short sighted. I am pleased to report that fat is still tasty. I am so much more than a jiggling ass and a great set of tits writhing up and down a brass pole as the lights randomly illuminate my soul. I am the tigress that eats her young because her DNA won’t let her go. I am a CSI lab sequence that needs expensive editing techniques and pumping music to make it more palatable. I am sturdy as a fireplug and used just as rarely. I am Peter Parker before he gets bitten by the spider. I am the geek in the Dugeons and Dragons club after he discovers booze and pot. I am leather chaps that don’t cover the really important parts. I am Monday night football that gives hope to America’s dull work-a-day existence. I am 60’s French pop that gets its message across without making any of its lyrics comprehensible. I am vocal chords that have been strained beyond repair yet still sing like they did 29 years ago. I am the perpetual oyster movement in a Rolex watch; all smooth, no click. I am joining the ranks of the disenfranchised fast food franchise owners.